for mothers of little boys

I read an excellent article this evening about mothers showing respect to their sons. Sometimes as a mom we wonder if we are teaching are sons to be gentlemen, strong in character and sweet in spirit....growing to follow the Lord with their whole heart. How do we raise and train a son in the ways of the Lord and show respect for him at the same time? Boys really are different than girls. They learn differently; they need love differently. Love for a man (and little men) includes respect. And that is why this article spoke to me.

my little prince

Before I comment on the article I would like to share a little about my son. He is such a sweetheart, and loves to be a boy. Stuck between two girls might make some little men feel squelched, but not my Frederick. He loves to play hard, throw balls, read all his books at once, and be heard. He also has a tender spirit and wants to be loved, and cares deeply about how I feel about his behavior. Sometimes I struggle as a mother because I feel like all I do is discipline and I feel somedays there is more correcting than hugging, but when he finally gets what is being taught it is worth all the heartaches of the day. I pray so much for my children, and it seems quite often for my boy. I know when the Lord is talking to him because it plays out in his behavior. And at the end of the day when he is talking to Jesus, he has the most profound prayers: observant of the needs of others, a desire to do good, and so genuine. Those moments are a gift from the Lord as I know that a hard days work in coming to fruition.

Here are Ten Ways for Moms to Respect Their Sons, by Jen Smidt. I suggest reading the rest of her article too as it is not too long and full of good thoughts.


1. SET JESUS AS THE STANDARD
There is no man other than Jesus who demonstrates perfection. You will never go wrong in upholding him as the source, pointing to him as the example, and depending upon him for the answers.

2. PRAY FOR THEM AND OVER THEM
You aren’t in control of their lives, you never will be. What better time than now to put yourself in submission to God’s plan for your sons by releasing them in prayer? Mothers have an awesome responsibility to pray for the intimate details that she knows about her son’s heart.

3. WATCH YOUR TONE
Respect is often given and destroyed in the little things. I know the look in my son’s eye when I speak to him with a harsh or shaming tone—it is the pain of disrespect. Speak graciously, kindly, and firmly to your sons.

4. LET THEM MAKE DECISIONS
Start small with choices like red or blue shirt, and move to increasing responsibility over time management and bigger life choices. Give them opportunities to lead in your home: chores, devotions, and family nights can be planned and executed by sons growing in maturity.

5. SERVE THEM
Love them with food, fun, folding of laundry. Let them see that you are willing to sacrificially serve them. Teach them to be grateful and one day they may actually thank you.

6. TEACH THEM TO SERVE YOU
Respectable men serve others. Servanthood does not come naturally to most of us. As you cheerfully serve your son, make sure you instruct and involve them in active service also. There will come a time when it is no longer sacrificial but sinful for you to be folding your boy’s undies.

7. NO SECRETS
Hidden sin is an insidious trap for men. Cultivate a climate of open confession and generous forgiveness. It is much more powerful for your son to feel like he can freely confess sin than have to hide in fear of your reaction.

8. NAME SIN BIBLICALLY
Do not fall into “Boys will be boys” thinking. Differentiate between childish foolishness and downright rebellion. Instruct the former and correct the latter. Name their sin with accurate descriptions from Scripture so they can repent.

9. NAME CHARACTER BIBLICALLY
Read to them and have them study passages of Scripture that speak to men (1 Cor. 16:13-14). Have them memorize passages of Scripture that describes their identity and riches available to them in Christ (Ephesians 1) so they can rejoice.

10. LET CONSEQUENCES FALL ON THEIR HEADS
Respectable men recognize the painful effects of sin. If our boys are continually being shielded from natural consequences, they will have a distorted sense of self and sin. Let them feel the pain of their sin coupled with the restorative effects of grace.

....My favorite line from the article: If our boys are continually being shielded from natural consequences, they will have a distorted sense of self and sin.